Hey, you! Be happy. That almost sounds ridiculous doesn't it? Of course if you could be happy you would be. Someone can't just order you into bliss and contentment. I'm embarrassed to admit this story because it makes me sound like a self-centered jerk, but this really did happen:
Maybe about five months after I came home from my second tour, when I was at my most depressed, some old man stopped me in a parking lot as I walked to my car.
"Hey, you!"
"What do you want?" I replied, pausing my steps.
"You look like you're older than me. You should smile. Life can't possibly be that hard."
In my head I said, F*** you old man. What were you, a World War II veteran or something? I bet you never had to worry about going to war over and over and over again after you came back from your tour.
I just kept walking.
Years later I can appreciate the sentiment of the elderly man (and I can feel like a moron for trying to argue whose war was tougher. Yeah, I've seen Band of Brothers and read a few books. I'll give it to him).
But, in a way, the old man’s intent in stopping me really wasn’t that ridiculous. As been said a million times, coming home from war is a really difficult thing. There’s such a concentrated confluence of so many intense feelings: decompressing and digesting your combat experiences; trying to readapt to the much different civilian world; attempting to control your physical and mental reactions to all these changes. It’s tough. Point blank.
But, finding a little thing in your life that makes you feel just a bit better? (Alcohol doesn’t count.)
That’s really not that hard.
For me it’s the drums. When I get stressed or angry about things I can’t control, I just place my ass on a stool and beat my drums – literally just slap the crap out of them. Maybe that says something negative about me, but when I’m finished with one of these therapy jam sessions, I don’t want to fight anyone and become more docile. As a personal mental health bonus, I’ll have friends come over with their guitars and keyboards to play too, and that usually winds up in a cool, low key night with friends -- no craziness or self destruction.
Obviously, the path to getting well again is going to be a difficult road. But if you can find small things in your life to latch onto that make you feel better, why not start building your life around those things now?
What makes you feel better?
Connect with Dario online:
Personal Website (Free Writing, Podcast, Dario in the Media, Biography, Books, Blogs)
20 Something Magazine (Editor-in-Chief, Creator)
JMWW Literary Journal (Senior Nonfiction Editor)
The Veterans Writing Project (Instructor, Nonfiction Editor)
LinkedIn (Professional Stuff)
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