Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Coming Home: A Field Guide (Part 10: Community Support for the Veteran)

As an individual, the desire to help a veteran is truly a commendable and magnanimous goal. Friends, family, well-wishers, and millions of patriotic or supportive Americans want to help. But the question is how? It’s this fundamental question that causes anyone who is goodhearted to scratch their head. Should I give to the USO? Donate to veteran support organizations like Not Alone? Send off care packages or visit the troops at Walter Reed?


All of those actions can have an impact on helping our veterans, and of course, Not Alone is a non-profit organization that can only exist with your support – please donate! But I think, sometimes, one of the best things you can do, is prepare yourself to take advantage of every opportunity you have to impact a veteran’s life. You might think that you can’t relate or understand their circumstances; so how can you really assist them as a civilian individual?


I’d like to share with you three examples of simply concerned Americans who – despite their personal beliefs on the wars and the politics of it all – helped me get where I needed to be.


I’d really like to thank my friend Chris Ryan first and foremost. He never served like me, and only knew about the military and war through an intense interest in history, but he took what general understanding he did have and patiently asked me about my experiences. In retrospect, that was by far the healthiest of all the activities I was doing at that time. He never forced me to talk about anything that made me uncomfortable, but with his gentle pushes for my personal knowledge, intuitively, he was helping me process my experiences. He was also the one who gave me the book All Quiet on the Western Front, which still remains my favorite book to this day. The reading of that book, I think, has galvanized my interest and pursuit towards becoming a successful writer. I cannot thank him enough for all the late nights and over the top conversations – and the patience and love he offered in return to my insanity.


Cathy Alter, a successful book author and one of my professors at Hopkins, is another person who I would really like to thank. By my read she’s a very liberal woman, who opposes the wars (and as a D.C. socialite she probably doesn’t know many who’ve served or know much about the military) but she only saw in me a young man trying his hardest, who she wanted to help.


I’m not complaining or whining, but when I first started blogging here, being forced to confront the worst experiences of my life three times a week kind of messed me up a little bit. (And there were other things going wrong, like my frustration with my lack of success, bills getting out of hand, and other personal issues.) I’m embarrassed to admit that for her class, it was the first time since returning to school in 2007 I just couldn’t bring myself to do one of the assignments. I was just too frustrated and temporarily depressed.


I think most other teachers would have punished me accordingly – and I actually asked her to – but instead, she was sympathetic to everything I’ve done and intend to do, and gave me all the time, love, and consideration I needed to get where I wanted to be. She counseled me then, and to my amazement, even though I’m not one of her students anymore, she still continues to.


Another man I’d like to thank is Dr. Seth Brown. Frustrated by the care from the VA bureaucracy, I sought him out when I attended school in Connecticut. Dr. Brown and I, would have long discussions about Iraq and politics and war, and I came to see him as a friend.


He wrote off every cent of my medical expenses, which have caused me to be in debt to age 40. All he observed, again, was a nice young man struggling to get well, who probably didn’t have the kind of care he could give. He knew I couldn’t afford it. But he wanted to help anyway. As northeast liberal, I know he hated President Bush and the war. And to his great credit, in his interactions with me, he didn’t care about all that. He leaped at the chance to assist me in any way he could.   


It is likely that every one of these people never planned to be in the circumstance they found themselves in: directly confronted with helping a veteran. It would have been very easy for them to just say “sucks for you,” and then continued on their way. No one asked them to reach out to me. But they did.


You may meet a veteran sometime. You might see them in school or encounter them in the workplace. You might see them at the bar. They might be the quiet one, drinking alone in the corner. A simple hello and “hey, dude, I’m here for you if you need it,” is all you need to offer up if you really want to help a veteran. It might mean more to them than you can ever know.


Connect with Dario online:
Personal Website (Free Writing, Podcast, Dario in the Media, Biography, Books, Blogs)
20 Something Magazine (Editor-in-Chief, Creator)
JMWW Literary Journal (Senior Nonfiction Editor)
The Veterans Writing Project (Instructor, Nonfiction Editor)
LinkedIn (Professional Stuff)
Facebook (Be my friend?)

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