911 Call

Provided for you here is a portion of a real conversation that I had with an old friend (name changed) who randomly messaged me on facebook.com a couple evenings ago. Think of this as a 911 call about the trauma of life after war. I’m not posting this to marginalize the seriousness of this talk. I think this transcript can say more with its realness and rawness than I often can with my patiently crafted words. This is about as honest as it gets. I haven’t altered the transcript in anyway. Please forgive the adult content.

Joe Soldier 1:34am

dude i am feeling down is there any confort you can give me

Me 1:34am

sure, man. what's wrong?

Joe Soldier 1:35am

i miss my fallen friends and i joined the reserved and i and on a line about to cross it and valinterr to deploy to make it right

Me 1:36am

sounds like you got some guilt, man. Going to fight again is not going to help that. It will just bring you more guilt. Your fallen friends would want you to make a nice life for yourself, not volunteering again and again you did your time, bro no one can take that from you

Joe Soldier 1:37am

seven that is how many dear friends i have lost

Me 1:37am

Unfortunately, that's not a sacred pain man. I've lost just as many. People I recruited are now dead. I still feel like shit about it, but we make decisions we make, and we move on

Joe Soldier 1:38am

well how do you get by cause i drink way to much and take way to many pills

Me 1:38am

I used to do that. And then I found writing, and college, and other veterans -- things that helped me focus my energy positively and people to listen

Joe Soldier 1:40am

well i go to a consouler but she doesnt know how it is

Me 1:41am

Do you mean at the VA?

Joe Soldier 1:42am

well at the vow

Me 1:43am

Oh word. Dude, I know it's rough bro. It took me three years to begin feeling normal again, and I still have flashbacks and grief. One of my brothers died a year ago, and I have friends who are still serving that I worry about Have you checked out my website,www.notalone.com? It's a resource website for people like you, people dealing with the trauma of war. They've got programs there. I've used them. They're pretty legit. And if necessary, they can get you professional help

Joe Soldier 1:44am

no i have not yet but i will now

Me 1:45am

I blog for them and create other content. My blog is Behind the Blast's Shadow: An After War Blog You can read my story, man. I've been in your shoes. There are a lot of people on that site who have been there

Joe Soldier 1:46am

ok its just that sometimes it all hits me at ounce

Me 1:47am

Well, they say when it rains it pours, and aint that the fucking truth dude. You can't run away from all that though, sometime you're going to have to face it. Is it hitting you now?

Joe Soldier 1:48am

ya dude i hit me enough to make me cry tonight 

(End Transcript) 


My friend was okay for the night and I'm going to meet with him soon. I'm praying he won't do anything too destructive between then -- obviously, self-medication is not the answer. It's a long walk back to normalcy after war. And it's a struggle. We've got to prepare ourselves. Not Alone can help you do that. 

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