New Year, New Goals

I know it’s kind of a sappy sentiment, but this really is the best time of year to do some deep introspection and reflection and start making some resolutions for the future. As my friend who hates New Year’s reminds me, “It’s stupid to make resolutions on this day because you could make resolutions on any day.” True. But it’s the end of the year now and with all the holidays and small breaks from our responsibilities, we have extra time to think, and I would say that we should all take a personal self-assessment.

So where are you? Are you functioning survivor of war who does what he has to but still feels numb to the world? Are you so far past your experiences people don’t even believe you when you tell them you used to serve (no one believes me: I’m out-of-shape and bearded). Or are you simply planning to spend the holiday with several 40s or a flask of whiskey, unable to fathom how you will stay alive in this next year?

I’ve been there. Well, not technically, vodka was always my poison.

Today, I’m doing well. But I’ve learned very recently that if I’m going to keep following the path I’m on – this path as a writer who writes about war and the life after – I’m going to have to embrace a role I don’t want. I don’t want to be a beacon that other veteran’s will come to for help and advice.  I don’t want to because the farther I get from my experiences the happier I feel, and I’m afraid that I will be dragged back down. Don’t counselors and therapists have a really high suicide rate? I’m also not so full of myself to think I have the secret key to “the way to getting better,” but I do have a story. I think it’s a successful story, and maybe some other veterans can study pieces of it and apply my lessons learned to their own journeys.

So, lesson number one: It’s a New Year and you’re alive. How are you going to get yourself where you want to be? Start small. If you asked me this question at the end of 2004 or 2005 my answers would have been pretty pathetic. I would have said, “I want to be able to pay my bills on the first of the month instead of wasting all my money on booze and almost getting evicted every month.” Or I would have said, “I want to be able to stop feeling like I want to die every time I’m reminded of my traumas from war."

It was a dark place. But I was able to make small changes. I didn’t waste every cent I had at the bar every night, and sometimes took a night away from going out and partying. I went to hang out with my old friends sometimes – positive people I’ve known since being a teen in youth group – to keep me away from all my horrible tendencies and flagrant self-destruction.

Today, six years later, my goal is to finish my master’s degree in writing. Really? I know. It shocks me to write that out and realize how far I have come. We want you to get to a place where you can be happy again. This site is for you. These stories are for you. Please look around and join our community.
Much love,

Dario

~ Semper Fi ~

Connect with Dario online:

Personal Website (Free Writing, Podcast, Dario in the Media, Biography, Books, Blogs)

20 Something Magazine (Editor-in-Chief, Creator)

JMWW Literary Journal (Senior Nonfiction Editor)

The Veterans Writing Project (Instructor, Nonfiction Editor)

LinkedIn (Professional Stuff)

Facebook (Be my friend?)