Football and Life After War

On a ridiculous 3rd and 19 last Saturday, the Steelers converted with a deep bomb pass, and I knew then that they would score and my team would be eliminated from the playoffs. No Lombardi trophy this year. The Ravens came close, but failed, again.

At the party I was having at my apartment, we all just sat, shocked and angry – anger that could be seen as an unending stun. We just stared ahead. Some got up and left after dozens of minutes. Others put their head in their hands and closed their eyes. One friend just went into the room and closed the door for the rest of the night, not to come out until the next afternoon.

Why am I talking about football in a war blog? Because I was reminded of an important lesson that day: emotional wellbeing really is a supreme challenge, and hard to maintain. I couldn’t believe I had let something so beyond my control – the outcome of the game – throw me into such a tailspin of short-lived depression. I’m still on Ravens website almost hourly, writing angry comments about my team’s failures. I’m still furious and sad for my team and the aging veterans – people I’ll never know or meet – who still haven’t gotten their Super Bowl rings. I only became a big fan in recent years after quitting the restaurant industry and getting my Sundays back. I wished immensely I could go back to those times and that I could go back to not caring.

And here is the point to this blog; here is the connection I discovered between being a fan and being a veteran. As ultimately trivial and unimportant as a football game is, we choose to get passionate about it, and we put our hearts and minds on the turf. But the passions and blood and sweat we poured out in the battlefield sands of distant lands are so much harder to let go when we’re losing. Everyone loves to be connected to something bigger than themselves. Everyone wants to be a part of an epic struggle and come out on top. When we’re falling behind, we’re especially frustrated and upset because we always think our team – our passion and desire – is the strongest and the best. And that only speeds up the tailspin.

There are bumps along the way. And it’s always a struggle. The conflicts will come and sometimes we’ll let up the big play. Sometimes we’ll fumble and not recover. But when we get the chance, we pick that rock up again and run through everyone until we score.

There’s a lot in life, football, and war that is beyond our control. But we can always choose to work towards being happy.

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