Time to Make Choices

So, probably like you, I get really annoyed when I see sappy and effusive praise for one’s self and accomplishments on, for instance, social media. Yay, you’re the best cat owner there is. Oh, you got another raise? Wow, your wedding / child / graduation looked SO beautiful! Yuck, yuck. Yeah, I’m just not into it.

I think most service members and veterans aren’t, too, because in the military you’re trained to just do a job, and even the heroic stuff is just you getting noticed for what anyone else in the military would’ve done.

That being said, I’ve been told that my story – yes, my annoyingly happy story of having a really f’ed up mind upon coming home from Iraq to being a healthy and happy human being – is one that should be shared despite the gag factor.

So here’s your motivation: guess what, you can get well. Some of us have and even do. That shouldn’t be a shocker, but I guess it kind of is. Now that I’m thinking about, we’re so inundated with so many stories of “victims” coming home from war. I guess that fits the mainstream template: the wars were stupid, and look at all the crappy things that happened to everyone involved.

Fairly, there is a degree to truth to all that. But what about the great things veterans are doing, even if they are having challenges still? What about the stories about the men and women who came home, struggled and are still struggling, but are also getting better?

Click the archive button and you’ll read about my once very fractured mind. I was incapable of basic existence after coming home from my second tour, and sought to destroy myself every night with bottles. Self-medication, I’ve learned years later, is what that is called.

Time was my greatest ally in getting better. Time and also patience to have realistic results. I didn’t go from Drunky McWastedface every night to outstanding graduate of my Master’s program overnight. It was harder than anything I’d ever done, especially harder than being in Iraq, but having risen above that challenge I can tell you, even though I wanted to quit and certainly could’ve accepted a less than desired result over the many years after war, it was totally worth it.

Time. It’s your friend. It’s an asshole, also, because time usually takes too much time, but trauma likes to hang around like an infection. You have to approach it holistically. This will be the new focus of my blog: How I got well, how others got well, and what we can share for you.

In the meantime, you’re reading this. You should go back in the archive, and also read the other blogs, and really get involved here at Courage Beyond. There are way worse things you could be doing. Like, what you may already be doing. Accept and believe in time, and that we’re here and want to and actually can help you. But it’s a decision that begins with you.